NEW BLOG

Ok...for some unknown reason, Blogger flagged my account as inappropriate. I don't have ANY clue why. So here is a "new and improved version." Because of all the confusion, I think I'm going to do some copying and pasting to put the old stuff in here so that I can have it all in one place...but that will take some time. SO - until then, I'll try to update as often as possible.

How pathetic am I that Luke is in to these Webkinz stuffed animals and I play with it more than he does?!?! HA! The stuffed little guys (a black bear named Coco and a beagle named Payton) come with an access code and when you log in to webkinz.com you get to create a house, furnish it, decorate it. You have to earn money by playing games or getting "jobs" to feed the pets and clothe them. You have to watch their health (exercise and food), happiness (play time), and you have to take care of them. It's a blast. I have had so much fun with them that it's hard to hand over the computer chair for him once I log in.... :) I highly recommend these things. If you are going to let your child explore the internet, these are great products. Some of the games are very generic, but they are also educational. Math, language, reading, typing skills...it's endless.

Soooo...what can I say that would be riveting? hmmm... I have had a good time over the past two weeks with the kids for Christmas break. They obviously have pushed my buttons at times, but they have been so wonderful, too. I had the opportunity to go on a "date" with each one while Christmas shopping for their dad and their brothers. They picked the restaurant, and we talked about being gentlemen: holding doors open, using good manners, etc. It was wonderful to get alone time with them. They are completely different when they have all Mommy's attention! And I get to see them being ... well, them. Absolutely wonderful.

I have had many enlightening conversations over the past weeks. Several of them have focused upon my Dad. The first Christmas without him took its toll on us all in different ways. Poor Chad. Every time he turned around, one of us was emotional again.

Here is one of my favorites:
Scenario: I was messing around on the computer, and a picture of my dad popped up. The three older boys had all been standing near. Drew saw the picture and the rest goes like this:

Drew: PAPPAW!!! Mommy, when do I get to see him again?
Me: Honey, we've talked about this before. He's in heaven, so the next time we see him is when we go to heaven.
Drew: When will that be?
Me: Well, after Jesus comes back or we die. (Drew's face kind of sunk at that point.)
Drew: I want to go to heaven.
Luke: You can if you are a Christian.
Evan: What's a Christian?
Me: Well, you have to believe in Jesus and God, and you have to live like Jesus wants you to live. When you believe in Him and love Him, you do what He says. That includes listening to Mommy and Daddy and obeying us. (Like how I threw that one in there????)
Luke: That's not all. You have to be bath-e-tized.
Me: BAP-tized.
Evan: What is BAP-the-tized?
Luke: It's like taking a bath in front of people.
Drew: Why do they want to see me naked?!?!?
Me: You have clothes on, silly.
Evan: That's wierd.
Me: I know. It is wierd to get a bath with clothes on!
Drew: Why do you have to be bath-e-tized?
Luke: Because that's what Jesus says Christians have to do.
Me: It's like when you take a bath at home. You do it to leave the dirt in the water and get clean. When you become a Christian, you ask Jesus to forgive you of your sin. When you get baptized, it's like showing the world that God has cleaned you from your sins.
Evan: What are sins?
Me: Being mean. Hitting. Not obeying your parents. Not listening to your parents. Fighting. Doing things you are not supposed to do.
Evan: What if you don't get bap-the-tized?
Luke: You go to hell, which is also a bad word we aren't supposed to say. Right, Mommy?
Me: Right. But it's a place, too. Not just a bad word.
Drew: What is hell like?
Me: I don't really know except that it's like having the worst thing you can imagine and then it's a lot worse than that. So if you don't like snakes, there might be a million snakes crawling on you.
Boys: Ew!
Me: We do know that there will be fire.
Evan: Like in our back yard?
Drew: Marshmallows!!!!
Me: No. Not that kind of fire. People in hell have to live in fire.
Evan: Does it touch their skin?
Me: I believe it does. That would be awful.
Luke: And the devil lives there.
Me: Yep. Fire and the devil. I don't want to go there.
Drew: (raises his right hand as high as he can) I BELIEVE IN JESUS!! I BELIEVE IN JESUS! I BELIEVE IN JESUS!!!!!
Evan: So what if I do bad things?
Me: You can always ask Jesus to forgive you and try to change the way you act so you don't do the bad things again. God always listens to you when you pray. He will forgive you when you ask Him to.

It's amazing to hear them talk about things like this. They are little sponges. I'm thankful for the times that I can fill those little sponges full of GOD and not the world.

The past two weeks have also been rough, though. It seems every other night, one of the boys has gotten very upset around bed time about missing their grandpa. I don't know if my emotional journey has triggered it or not. Could have. Probably did. Especially in Gabriel's case. Thursday night was grueling. Evan got almost hysterical. I was in the other room when I heard this sobbing. It was definitely more than the "Drew hit me" or "Luke called me a boogerbutt" cry. So I got up and went in as soon as I heard it. He was shaking, almost uncontrollably. He couldn't calm down and I thought he was going to hyperventilate because he could not catch his breath whatsoever. It was awful. The more he cried, the more my emotions got to me. I finally had to leave to get Chad who was playing our new Wii (I'll have to post about that some other time). I asked him to come help me calm Evan down because I was obviously not doing a good job since I was now crying myself. It took a long time of different tactics. ("Remember the good times...you were special to Pappaw because....remember when he....I know he loved you....he was so proud of you...you'll see him again in heaven....")

It finally happened, though. The next morning, I had to go to the teacher work day at school. On the way to the babysitters, we were listening to the Zune, and he said, "Mommy! Turn that down. I forgot to tell you something." So I did, and I asked what he wanted to say. He told me that after Chad and I had left his room the night before, he had prayed. I asked what about, and his answer so was so precious. He said he had prayed, "Thank you for this wonderful day," (a standard thanksgiving in all of Evan's prayers...it struck me funny that he would thank God at that particular sob-filled moment to thank God for giving him a wonderful day....) and "Please keep Pappaw safe up there in heaven." I asked him if it made him feel better to pray. He said that it had.

So we have to be doing something right...Right? : )

God, thank you for this wonderful day :) and thanks for these cherished moments when my children and I can share Jesus with each other. You know we miss Dad terribly, but I thank you that through our grief my children are learning to pray to you and depend on you. That makes any day a wonderful day. Amen.